tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14746671870975521612024-03-13T23:01:42.095-07:00It's complicatedThis is my life.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-23157506921914921462012-03-08T12:21:00.001-08:002012-03-08T12:21:22.053-08:00a year later!<span style="font-size: xx-small;">OK BLOG</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">IT'S BEEN A HECK OF A YEAR! THE LAST I POSTED I WAS STILL PREGNANT. I HAD MY BABY GIRL OCTOBER 24,2011 AT 7:11PM. SHE WEIGHED 5 LBS 9 OZ AND WAS 18 INCHES LONG. SHE'S THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME. THINGS GOT VERY COMPLICATED AFTER SHE WAS BORN. MY MARRIAGE ENDED AND I WILL NOT EVER TALK ABOUT THAT ON THIS BLOG.I WISH THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT BUT, THAT'S LIFE. MY BABY AMALIEA IS 4 MONTHS OLD NOW AND WEIGHS A WHOPPING 13 POUNDS. SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY I HAVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON.I AM VERY THANKFUL I HAVE THE BEST FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND GIRL CAN HAVE. I MOVED BACK TO VACAVILLE AND HAVE A LOT OF HELP.THAT'S BASICALLY LIFE AS OF NOW. TRYING TO GET BACK ON MY FEET AND STAYING POSITIVE. YESTERDAY MARKED THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY I STARTED MY PROTON RADIATION TREATMENT. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ONLY BEEN A YEAR. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN SUCH A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. I AM STILL TUMOR FREE I JUST HAD AN MRI A FEW WEEKS AGO. SO THATS THAT. I'LL POST SOME PICTURES OF MY BABY. </span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-39634917123335675552011-07-11T16:29:00.000-07:002011-07-11T16:29:18.313-07:00<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Dear blog,</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>I have neglected you for a good 3 months and that's horrible.The last time I wrote to you I was still undergoing radiation.I graduated from that and have moved on with my life. I am still so appreciate of everybody who came to visit me while down there and the people who sent me stuff or e mailed, facebooked, skyped,text me. The day after I came home was Jeremy's birthday. It was a hard time recovering and still finding bald spots on my head but I made it. What is weird is that one of the effects from the radiation is UTI. I have never had one before so about a month and a half after I was home I started feeling weird like something wasn't right. Went to the dr they checked my urine and they said I indeed had a UTI. Took medicine for it and about a week and a half later I still had these symptoms. I felt a hard lump in my lower abs and thought to myself what the heck is that?! Am i dying? Do I have cervical cancer? I only thought that because I was watching Dr. Oz one day and they were talking about that and I thought I had the same symptoms. So I wanted to rule out pregnancy so Jeremy went and bought me a test and I took it and it immediately showed pregnant. I freaked out and took the other test that popped up pregnant right away. I started crying because I wasn't sure how to feel or if I was even pregnant or if it was the medicine I took or from the radiation. I was so confused. So the next day Jeremy took me to the Dr, where they indeed told me I was pregnant. I felt so overwhelmed and so shocked I was also so scared. They did an ultra sound and we found out I was 20 weeks along. How nobody didn't catch it I don't know. I was so scared to find out if she had any health issues from being inside me during radiation! I felt like such a horrible person for not knowing. The ultra sound came back perfect. There didn't appear to be anything wrong. BTW they told me that same day that it is a girl. So that made me happy :) I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I go to the Dr. almost every week to see how i'm doing. They refereed me to Sutter in Vacaville and I also have a specialist Dr. on Thursday to do an in depth ultra sound to make sure 100% that she doesn't have any birth defects or anything like that. So that's how life has been lately. crazy</b></span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-85689012956588623622011-04-14T11:32:00.000-07:002011-04-14T11:32:35.825-07:00<div style="color: #4c1130;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Hi Blog !!</span></div><div style="color: #4c1130;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #4c1130; font-size: x-small;">I can't even begin to explain how homesick I have been. I know I'm not even far from home, but when you're alone all the time and there's nobody physically here to talk to or hang out with it gets really, really lonely. Which is why my amazing mom got me a plane ticket to come home this weekend! I can't wait to see Jeremy. I miss him so so so so so sooooooo much !!! I also can't wait to see Talan and Mackenzie. They are so excited I am coming home to see them. Also to see my family and some very special friends :) Today I met a little 4 year old baby girl with cancer, but besides her not having any hair you would have never known she was sick. She is so full of life and she's so freakin adorable!! I wanted to take her home with me. Her mom told me this is her 2nd time going through proton radiation. I can't even imagine how it effects that baby because I know it messes me up BAD. She made my day though. She was just perfect. I am done with treatment May 3rd and it can't come soon enough. Any who, being here has made me feel more blessed and more appreciative of everything and everyone.I have to go now so I can pack and get ready for tomorrow. I am so excited I can't even contain myself! Bye Blog </span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-27053007796030793822011-03-29T12:22:00.000-07:002011-03-29T12:22:58.287-07:00<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Hello Blog</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #f6b26b;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">I am 16 days into my treatment. I have about 28 more days to go until I am done.Last week was really hard for me. I just felt so alone and sad and sick. SO SICK. It was hard for me to get out of bed every morning and go about the day. After treatments I would just come home, cry and self loath. But not anymore! In 2 weeks I start a new machine and the count down to the end of this starts. I am so beyond excited. I just want to thank everybody who text or called me and let me just vent to them. You really realize who is there for you, and who is there when it's convenient for them. So thank you :) Last night when I washed my hair I realized I'm losing my hair! Well good thing I have a lot of it so nobody can tell yet. I should expect to lose more the Dr told me. It will grow back though.Anyways no more rambling. I can't wait for April!! I'll have someone here every weekend and I am so excited. peace out blog.</span></span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-51256156136982397892011-03-10T20:43:00.000-08:002011-03-10T20:43:24.625-08:00<span style="font-size: x-small;">Dear Blog..</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I am here in Loma Linda. Southern California is the best. It's been warm and sunny ever since Daniella and I got here on sunday. Yesterday it reached a lovely 90 degrees. I am in love with this weather. So, this whole Proton therapy process is trying to kick my butt, but I wont let it! Let me start from Monday, yes this is going to be another ramble. Monday was probably the scariest day. The first day where I had to make sure my mask fit properly and everything lines up perfectly. It's insane how smart these people are who do the radiation. The pillow(which was as big as my hand and as hard as a rock) was the most painful part of the whole situation. My forehead and face was pinned down so I cannot move an inch which sorta freaked me out and I almost had a panic attack but I told myself to stop and just get over it. They lift the table about 6 feet off the ground and they have to rotate it twice. It's a weird feeling. The whole process on Monday took about 40 minutes because if was all X-Rays. Tuesday was the first day of radiation. Emotionally the hardest day so far. Dani and myself went to the new patient orientation and I couldn't even make it through without crying. It just hurts my heart to see people in pain. Mostly everybody that gets radiation here are older men with prostate cancer, so they have their wives with them who are so supportive and you can tell they are so strong and so in love. Everybody had to go around and tell their story and the one that killed me was a lady who had a chardoma in her spine! But 15 years before she had breast cancer. It just made me sad so when it was my time to tell my story all I could get out was my name and my sisters name. Then Dani had to talk for me. I had to leave the meeting early to start my first treatment. This was also painful because of the pillow i have to lay my head on. It took almost an hour but my head was killing me. I almost couldn't handle it but I pushed through it. Later that night was ZUMBA. how I love zumba !! I have a free membership to the gym right down the street which i intend to use as often as possible. The treatments now are better. Just short and simple and non painful. But emotionally it's tough. You can say all you want that "it's just radiation and you'll be fine" but it's so much more than that. It takes an emotional toll on you. It drains you and exhausts you and makes you sick, but you have to just push past that. There have been so many more times this week I have wanted to cry because I miss everyone back home and it sucks going through this especially without my husband, but I am healthy I am going to get through this it's just a process. I am very thankful the university has the most compassionant people. Anyways Zumba was tonight which was a blast !! and we went to a farmers market which was so fun!! lots of citrus I got pink lemons and regular lemons so I can put them in my water :) My mom dad and niece Mackenzie will be here next week and I am so excited I can't stand it! I just miss everyone :( I'll update again soon. </span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-51184464679719756632011-02-15T14:38:00.000-08:002011-02-15T14:38:27.059-08:00Love Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0PofZ_Cj-dU/TVr-5c_4HBI/AAAAAAAAAC4/6t2iLXjpZHY/s1600/IMGP0379.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-0PofZ_Cj-dU/TVr-5c_4HBI/AAAAAAAAAC4/6t2iLXjpZHY/s320/IMGP0379.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gru4UgGBjsQ/TVr_2O87vII/AAAAAAAAADI/rmHM7GVHlV8/s1600/IMGP0477.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Gru4UgGBjsQ/TVr_2O87vII/AAAAAAAAADI/rmHM7GVHlV8/s320/IMGP0477.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tmYXm3jJypg/TVr_82GsrnI/AAAAAAAAADM/VDr5K8Quv0c/s1600/IMGP0485.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tmYXm3jJypg/TVr_82GsrnI/AAAAAAAAADM/VDr5K8Quv0c/s320/IMGP0485.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: x-small;">Blog, I have </span><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">been neglecting you and I am super sorry. I'll recap the last couple of weeks. Headed down to Loma Linda about the proton radiation, I will find out later this week or next when I will be starting my treatment.Saturday was the BIG day. Wedding day. I want to say everything that day was perfect, but it wasn't. My biggest complaint about the whole day was the (almost)most important part, THE MUSIC !!! The DJ'S bored my crowed to death. I was so upset when we kept going to the booth to tell them to play the music I HAD TO DOWNLOAD AND BURN TO CD'S for them since they didn't have any of the music I wanted to listen to. So I took the time out of my schedule to do that to have fun music to dance to. SO to whoever attended and was bored by the music I am so sorry. I was so upset and when almost everyone left they started playing the good music, even then it still wasn't what I wanted to dance to. But whatever. Sergio and Stephanie Perez (the photographers) are amazing. I can't wait to see the pictures from the rehersal and the wedding !! My family helped me SO much with everything I needed along with my two best friends Candice and Darci. My 2nd parents Eric and Andrea Taylor were amazing and helped a bunch too !The groomsmen were so very handsome too and helped Jeremy out a lot. I was just very nervous, but very happy. Kamdin Gavin Talan and Mackenzie were so funny. I'll do a picture blog when I get the copies but until then I'll leave you with just a couple.. Bye Blog </span></span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-80188182996288258582011-01-21T17:06:00.000-08:002011-01-21T17:06:52.828-08:00No Title<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Dear Blog, </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I have been so stressed out the past few days. The reason(s) behind the stress is dealing with insurance and people who cannot give me a straight answer. I wont ramble on about everything but I will just let you know that I will be in SUNNY/WARM Loma Linda on the 3rd and 4th of February to get an MRI and have a consultation with the Dr. I need to see. It has been really hard dealing with all of the confusion and the unknown due to my cell phone service, so my amazing mother had to take care of basically everything but I would call her whenever I actually had reception. We need a land line asap ! After the visit it could take up to 4-6 weeks to actually have a set date on when I would head down there for...TWO AND A HALF MONTHS !! But I am just ready to get this over with and move on with my life. They would probably take me earlier if they see my tumor has grown back, which I hope it hasn't. But if it has I would be on top of the priority list. I'm stressed about this and everything else going on. Wedding is in 22 days and I feel like I am ready but not. Anyways Blog, I am scared of the whole procedure of laying perfectly still while protons are being plunged into my freakin brain but I have to just be a trooper and deal with it. Well it's the weekend now. Talan has his first soccer practice tomorrow that I am for sure going to ! I am super excited because I love soccer and watching little kids play is so hilarious. I hope everybody has an amazing weekend and I will try to be less stressed. </span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-497749308683934932011-01-14T16:32:00.000-08:002011-01-14T16:32:13.475-08:00ContentHi Blog, I am back.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qEw69TTrCzU/TTDq8Z8aYRI/AAAAAAAAACs/6jMy1lwyrh0/s1600/January+IPHONE+353.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_qEw69TTrCzU/TTDq8Z8aYRI/AAAAAAAAACs/6jMy1lwyrh0/s320/January+IPHONE+353.PNG" width="213" /></a></div>So let me update you on how things have been lately. I could only describe things are GREAT. simply great. Last weekend Jeremy and myself moved to Dixon, I know I know it's only one town over but I simply cannot live away from my family. I'm very family oriented and that will never change. Anyways, we moved last week and it only took us the weekend to get everything situated and organized and now the place is perfect. I was going crazy for a couple days with no internet or cable, but I kept myself occupied. I've been cooking and cleaning every day/night and I really love it. Anybody can visit whenever they want ! The invite is always out there to come hang out. The phone service sucks if you have at&t though.That's the only thing that drives me crazy. I finally can burn my scentsy's !! My apartment is the best smelling apartment ever ! OK blog,I need to go and do something productive with myself right now, adios ! <br />
ok so i had to add that picture because I miss those two terrible right now and they are absolutely perfect <3Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-21835782150482565862011-01-03T13:31:00.000-08:002011-01-03T13:31:19.305-08:00reality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qEw69TTrCzU/TSI_9URMa9I/AAAAAAAAACk/5fyEsc-AWDU/s1600/January+IPHONE+337.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qEw69TTrCzU/TSI_9URMa9I/AAAAAAAAACk/5fyEsc-AWDU/s320/January+IPHONE+337.PNG" width="213" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm going to try my hardest not to ramble during this entry, but no promises that will actually happen. The holidays are over and it was very bitter sweet. My sister, her husband and my 2 nephews came the 23rd from Texas to be with us for the holidays. The house was so crazy and loud but I enjoyed every minute of it !! We hit up candy cane lane christmas eve, ate lots of tamales tortillas chips salsa and beans. Christmas was crazy. Santa loved all 3 of my nephews and my niece. There were so many presents it was unbelievable. I was just so happy to be around my family. My 3 sisters, mom and dad, grandma and papa, my 2 brother in laws, 3 nephews my niece and fiance.Anna's birthday was on xmas and she turned 23. My birthday was the 28th and I turned 25 ! Man. 2010 was such a roller coaster for myself. Things with Jeremy and I were so rocky for a few months then we finally got back on track, got engaged and are so incredibly great. Found out about the tumor got that taken care of and now my health is so much better. I am so thankful for everybody in my life. BTW still no word from Loma Linda so I'm going to not think about it until they call me. Now I need to focus on February 12, 2011. I didn't make a new years resolution because I'd probably break it right after i make it. So I'm just going to take whatever is thrown my way and enjoy life. I hope everybody has the best year possible. </span>Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-26931036644335091242010-12-07T18:56:00.000-08:002010-12-07T18:56:16.802-08:00HeartsLife is amazing ! I wish everybody loved life as much as I do ! ahhhhhhhhh. No more sad days no more negative days no more sick days (sorta) I want to be positive and always have a smile on my face.<br />
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Anyways the LA office has yet to tell me any news about radiation so I wont even bother writing anymore about that until I know more information. It's DECEMBER !! I love December ! Lots of yummy food and cookies and candy and warm drinks. I love turning my electric blanket on, drinking some tea and watching ELF. 16 MORE DAYS until my baby sister Anna, Ian, Gavin and Kamdin come here ! I miss them terribly. Anna's birthday is on Christmas mine is 3 days after. What should I do for my birthday? OH ANYWAYS so today I had my ENT appointment. My Dr. is super amazing. He always compliments something about me. My nose is almost 100% better. Just have to keep up with my nasal spray. It really does suck though that some days I can mostly taste things and some days I cant taste anything. I need to get my ring re-sized now because my fingers are losing weight. haha I hope everybody has an amazing holiday filled with lots of friends and family and happiness.Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-74803481683770301872010-11-15T16:22:00.000-08:002010-11-15T16:22:11.604-08:00Life in a nutshellAlmost a month later and I'm feeling excellent. I had a Dr. appointment last week at the radiation department in the cancer center of UCDavis. When I walked back with Jeremy I felt so sad. It's hard to see people in pain and suffering. I wanted to cry so bad but I held it together. I don't have cancer but they want to do radiation on me because my tumor WILL grow back if i don't have it done. As of right now I haven't heard from the center I will be going to, but the Dr's here estimate it will be a 7 week treatment in Loma Linda CA at the university. I don't know when I have to go but I know I have to go for them to meet me and see if I am a qualified candidate, which they already said I am. Then I would have to go back so they could make me my own personal mask of some sort.The treatment itself should only be about 45 minutes long monday-friday and I would be able to come home on the weekends. Now I'm worried about when I would have to start this process. December my baby sister, her husband and my 2 amazing nephews will be here from the 23-29th. I don't want to miss anytime with them. My birthday is on the 28th. February I get married on the 12th. I just feel like I wouldn't be here for the whole wedding ordeal. Getting last minute stuff and just depending on everyone else to help make this thing possible. But I have to focus on my health. I am thankful that they are sending me all the way to LA instead because if I couldn't , they would have to do chemotherapy on me but they said it wouldn't be effective enough.Anyways I'll just post the website to where I MIGHT(almost 100%) will be going.http://www.protons.com/proton-therapy/conditions-treated/base-of-skull.html?sid=google_ppc&cid=Chordomas:Base-of_Skull&type=search&keyword=chordoma&adid=4336066638&placement=&gclid=CL_T_t32l6UCFRNSgwodLlF6Hw<br />
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I just want to thank everybody for checking up on me and keeping tabs to see how i'm doing. I really really really appreciate it SO much. <3 When I find out for SURE the whole story and the dates I will let you all know. until then live life to its fullest !Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-72552582755635025722010-10-29T10:56:00.000-07:002010-10-29T10:56:35.745-07:00a week laterI am doing 100% better than I was doing last week. Last week around 5 am I was crying my eyes out and just anticipating the surgery. I could not have imagined feeling this good a week later. Again thank you to everyone who keeps checking up on me. I am so excited for my Dr apt on Monday. I can't wait for my Dr. to see how well I am doing !! I wish there was a way I could make it up to him for basically saving my life. Maybe I will get him a card just to explain to him how much of an amazing doctor he is. So it's HALLOWEEN weekend and I wont be able to attend any of the parties, but I will be hanging out with Andrea and Eric on Halloween. This is my favorite holiday and I'm sad I can't really attend anything, but I don't want anyone bumping into me and hurting my nose. Everyone have a fun and safe weekend !Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-62110938826883296902010-10-25T11:15:00.000-07:002010-10-25T11:15:28.679-07:00the longest weekendI was a nervous wreck on friday morning. Thursday night Darci and Candice came over and we had pie and ice cream. It helped me a lot when they were there. Friday I was at the hospital at 5 am crying my eyes out every couple minutes. I got checked i don't even remember what they were telling me I was too nervous. I'm glad my mom and dad had Jeremy Andrea and my grandparents there. It helped them a lot. I remember going into the operating room and moving onto a different bed and then I was out. When I woke up I just had a bad neck pain and my throat hurt. My eyes were so blurry and eventually I couldnt even keep them open they were burning so bad. I had to get an MRI and CT scan . I loved seeing Andrea and my grandma and papa and my mom and dad. It's so horrible sleeping in a hospital. Worse sleep ever. poor Jeremy was a trooper and stayed with me through the nights. Saturday I had a lot of visitors ! thank you to tandy darci chris dijon grandma papa andrea and eric. I was so tired so I wasn't really too talkative. I appreciate all the support. Sunday morning they took my stuffing out of my nose .. weirdest feeling i have experienced. I got discharged from the hospital around 3 pm took a shower which was much needed and laid down on the couch and went to bed around 8. Today I feel good except a headache sore jaw and sore throat my eyes are really blurry now but he said that will be like that for a while. A couple minutes ago I got a delivery from Jenna !! I was so happy when I saw it. I love edible arrangements. Fruit is the only thing I can really eat and feel full. Now I just need to take it easy and relax. I'll probably update in a few days but thank you to everyone for your encouragement and prayers. it helped me sooo much. I love you all :)Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-33622703377415951552010-10-20T18:51:00.000-07:002010-10-20T18:51:14.643-07:00My nerves are getting the best of meThis situation is stressing me out. It's like .. what if something goes wrong? What if they hit a nerve and I have a stroke and die? What if the tumor is cancerous? What if what if what if is all I keep asking myself. I just hope and pray i wake up perfectly healthy ! Better than before. I think it would help me feel better if I had people visit me either in the hospital or at my home when I'm out of the hospital. They say happiness makes you heal faster so I want to be around happy people !! anyways that's my rant for the night i'm sure I will post tomorrow night after I hang out with Darci and Candice. Wish me luck guys !!Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-75453450233112731822010-10-10T23:17:00.000-07:002010-10-10T23:17:24.526-07:00Here's to the nightsToday couldn't have been any better. Mom Jeremy and I spend the afternoon with two of the most amazing parents in the world. Eric and Andrea Taylor ! Yes I used to date their son Thomas and we broke up years ago, but I still feel like they are my 2nd parents. They are just the type of people who will do anything for their family and friends. Andrea called me the other day because she was concerned about me and asked about my surgery and I couldn't even say anything really but cry. I don't know if she noticed I was crying, but I was. So it was so nice catching up with them and I'm glad they met Jeremy. It's a good feeling to know they still love and support me and want me to be happy. I love them both to death ! Later on I was blind folded and taken to my surprise Darci had planned for me. I had no clue what it was. Jeremy blind folded me and we ended up in Davis and I was sooo shocked to see the most amazing people in front of me ! Candice, Darci, Chris, Josh, Julia, my mom and sister. We had champagne and dessert at Bistro. It was such a good time. They just reassured me that my surgery would go perfect and smooth and they were all there for me. It means a lot to know people actually care about what's going on and how supportive they are. I love them all so much I can't even express. What a good Sunday :) I go in on Tuesday to meet the other surgeon who will be operating on me. The receptionist said he was cute so good thing I'm bringing my sister who is single.. AWWWWL THE SINGLE LADIEZ ! so maybe she can get a sexy doctor or something ! I'll let you know what happens.. until then ! goodnightCourtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1474667187097552161.post-72829635618377204642010-10-06T11:50:00.000-07:002010-10-06T11:50:53.636-07:00ContemplatingI wasn't too sure if I should make a blog and write down my feelings and everything I am going through. I started thinking that I don't open up too often about my life. Yes I may tell bits and pieces of things but I never really tell the whole story and often never tell how I truly feel. So I'll start with my engagement. In May for mine and Jeremy's 1 year anniversary he took me to the cheesecake factory in San Francisco. For some reason he seemed really nervous and I didn't think anything about it. After our delicious dinner in the mist ( we were outside on the balcony there was music in the park and it was a misty evening) he proceeded to tell me he didn't bring me to there just for our 1 year. He got down on one knee in front of everybody and proceeded to propose. I can't tell you word for word what was said due to me freaking out saying "OMG jeremy are you for real?! omg !!!!" I started to tear up then he put the ring on my finger everyone clapped and I got a look at my ring and it's exactly the one I wanted. It's perfect. The next day we started planning our wedding.. So skip to a few months later I start having bad headaches(this has been a common thing in my life) and I was getting really concerned. I set up a Dr. Appointment and since I have had a surgery in my past (google <b>arnold chiari malformation</b>) she set me up with an MRI. So I get my MRI they find something abnormal about it and set me up with a CT scan. My results come back and my Dr. then proceeds to tell me I have what looks like a tumor. Neurology UCDavis in Sacramento called me to set up my appointment to be seen. By this point I'm freaking out but not too bad because my regular doctor made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. So I meet my Dr. who is simply amazing !! He made me feel so comfortable. But.. I couldn't find out anything because in the package I brought my Dr, the imaging center never put my images in it. So rescheduled that appointment but at least I got to meet my neurologist and he checked out how I was doing. So 2 weeks later I go back with the images on a CD and he checks them out in another room and about 35 minutes later he comes back to tell me that my <b>chiari</b> has gotten worse and in fact I do have a tumor. I felt so stupid I started to cry because I wasn't expecting him to talk about my past surgery which I never talk about. Then to confirm I do have a tumor I couldn't handle all that information at once. So he couldn't exactly tell if my tumor was cancerous or not so again I had to set up another appointment to get another MRI with an IV. So I went back did my MRI met with my DR again and he told me I need to have my tumor(which is almost in my brain) taken out immediately. He still doesn't know if it is cancerous or not but will know during the surgery. There are a lot of risks with this procedure but I thank god it's not as bad as it could be. The tumor is surrounded by bone but it has blood flow so it could grow. He doesn't know how long I have had it but he has made it a point that it is very important that it comes out. The procedure will take about 10-12 hours,yes I said HOURS!! and it's scheduled on Oct 22nd. Then I also have to think about 6 months from now. After the wedding in February and Disneyland is March I have to undergo ANOTHER surgery. This one will be on the back of my head again. I had the same operation when I was 13. I'll get into that a lot later but basically I'm scared as hell and I can't believe I am juggling all of this. I figured now would be a good time to let people know what exactly is going on with me and how I am feeling instead of people going "oh, I didn't know that" Thank you to the people who actually took the time to read this. Now that I have a blog I will be writing in it often !Courtneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08606491521053358041noreply@blogger.com2