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Hi Blog, I am back.

So let me update you on how things have been lately. I could only describe things are GREAT. simply great. Last weekend Jeremy and myself moved to Dixon, I know I know it's only one town over but I simply cannot live away from my family. I'm very family oriented and that will never change. Anyways, we moved last week and it only took us the weekend to get everything situated and organized and now the place is perfect. I was going crazy for a couple days with no internet or cable, but I kept myself occupied. I've been cooking and cleaning every day/night and I really love it. Anybody can visit whenever they want ! The invite is always out there to come hang out. The phone service sucks if you have at&t though.That's the only thing that drives me crazy. I finally can burn my scentsy's !! My apartment is the best smelling apartment ever ! OK blog,I need to go and do something productive with myself right now, adios !
ok so i had to add that picture because I miss those two terrible right now and they are absolutely perfect <3

reality

I'm going to try my hardest not to ramble during this entry, but no promises that will actually happen. The holidays are over and it was very bitter sweet. My sister, her husband and my 2 nephews came the 23rd from Texas to be with us for the holidays. The house was so crazy and loud but I enjoyed every minute of it !! We hit up candy cane lane christmas eve, ate lots of tamales tortillas chips salsa and beans. Christmas was crazy. Santa loved all 3 of my nephews and my niece. There were so many presents it was unbelievable. I was just so happy to be around my family. My 3 sisters, mom and dad, grandma and papa, my 2 brother in laws, 3 nephews my niece and fiance.Anna's birthday was on xmas and she turned 23. My birthday was the 28th and I turned 25 ! Man. 2010 was such a roller coaster for myself. Things with Jeremy and I were so rocky for a few months then we finally got back on track, got engaged and are so incredibly great. Found out about the tumor got that taken care of and now my health is so much better. I am so thankful for everybody in my life. BTW still no word from Loma Linda so I'm going to not think about it until they call me.  Now I need to focus on February 12, 2011.   I didn't make a new years resolution because I'd probably break it right after i make it. So I'm just going to take whatever is thrown my way and enjoy life. I hope everybody has the best year possible.

Hearts

Life is amazing ! I wish everybody loved life as much as I do ! ahhhhhhhhh. No more sad days no more negative days no more sick days (sorta) I want to be positive and always have a smile on my face.

 Anyways the LA office has yet to tell me any news about radiation so I wont even bother writing anymore about that until I know more information.  It's DECEMBER !! I love December ! Lots of yummy food and cookies and candy and warm drinks. I love turning my electric blanket on, drinking some tea and watching ELF.  16 MORE DAYS until my baby sister Anna, Ian, Gavin and Kamdin come here ! I miss them terribly. Anna's birthday is on Christmas mine is 3 days after. What should I do for my birthday? OH ANYWAYS so today I had my ENT appointment. My Dr. is super amazing. He always compliments something about me. My nose is almost 100% better. Just have to keep up with my nasal spray. It really does suck though that some days I can mostly taste things and some days I cant taste anything. I need to get my ring re-sized now because my fingers are losing weight. haha I hope everybody has an amazing holiday filled with lots of friends and family and happiness.

Life in a nutshell

Almost a month later and I'm feeling excellent. I had a Dr. appointment last week at the radiation department in the cancer center of UCDavis. When I walked back with Jeremy I felt so sad. It's hard to see people in pain and suffering. I wanted to cry so bad but I held it together. I don't have cancer but they want to do radiation on me because my tumor WILL grow back if i don't have it done. As of right now I haven't heard from the center I will be going to, but the Dr's here estimate it will be a 7 week treatment in Loma Linda CA at the university. I don't know when I have to go but I know I have to go for them to meet me and see if I am a qualified candidate, which they already said I am. Then I would have to go back so they could make me my own personal mask of some sort.The treatment itself should only be about 45 minutes long monday-friday and I would be able to come home on the weekends. Now I'm worried about when I would have to start this process. December my baby sister, her husband and my 2 amazing nephews will be here from the 23-29th. I don't want to miss anytime with them. My birthday is on the 28th. February I get married on the 12th. I just feel like I wouldn't be here for the whole wedding ordeal. Getting last minute stuff and just depending on everyone else to help make this thing possible. But I have to focus on my health. I am thankful that they are sending me all the way to LA instead because if I couldn't , they would have to do chemotherapy on me but they said it wouldn't be effective enough.Anyways I'll just post the website to where I MIGHT(almost 100%) will be going.http://www.protons.com/proton-therapy/conditions-treated/base-of-skull.html?sid=google_ppc&cid=Chordomas:Base-of_Skull&type=search&keyword=chordoma&adid=4336066638&placement=&gclid=CL_T_t32l6UCFRNSgwodLlF6Hw

I just want to thank everybody for checking up on me and keeping tabs to see how i'm doing. I really really really appreciate it SO much. <3  When I find out for SURE the whole story and the dates I will let you all know. until then live life to its fullest !

a week later

I am doing 100% better than I was doing last week. Last week around 5 am I was crying my eyes out and just anticipating the surgery. I could not have imagined feeling this good a week later. Again thank you to everyone who keeps checking up on me. I am so excited for my Dr apt on Monday. I can't wait for my Dr. to see how well I am doing !! I wish there was a way I could make it up to him for basically saving my life. Maybe I will get him a card just to explain to him how much of an amazing doctor he is.  So it's HALLOWEEN weekend and I wont be able to attend any of the parties, but I will be hanging out with Andrea and Eric on Halloween. This is my favorite holiday and I'm sad I can't really attend anything, but I don't want anyone bumping into me and hurting my nose. Everyone have a fun and safe weekend !

the longest weekend

I was a nervous wreck on friday morning. Thursday night Darci and Candice came over and we had pie and ice cream. It helped me a lot when they were there. Friday I was at the hospital at 5 am crying my eyes out every couple minutes. I got checked i don't even remember what they were telling me I was too nervous. I'm glad my mom and dad had Jeremy Andrea and my grandparents there. It helped them a lot. I remember going into the operating room and moving onto a different bed and then I was out. When I woke up I just had a bad neck pain and my throat hurt. My eyes were so blurry and eventually I couldnt even keep them open they were burning so bad. I had to get an MRI and CT scan . I loved seeing Andrea and my grandma and papa and my mom and dad. It's so horrible sleeping in a hospital. Worse sleep ever. poor Jeremy was a trooper and stayed with me through the nights. Saturday I had a lot of visitors ! thank you to tandy darci chris dijon grandma papa andrea and eric. I was so tired so I wasn't really too talkative. I appreciate all the support. Sunday morning they took my stuffing out of my nose .. weirdest feeling i have experienced. I got discharged from the hospital around 3 pm took a shower which was much needed and laid down on the couch and went to bed around 8. Today I feel good except a headache sore jaw and sore throat  my eyes are really blurry now but he said that will be like that for a while. A couple minutes ago I got a delivery from Jenna !! I was so happy when I saw it. I love edible arrangements. Fruit is the only thing I can really eat and feel full. Now I just need to take it easy and relax. I'll probably update in a few days but thank you to everyone for your encouragement and prayers. it helped me sooo much. I love you all :)

My nerves are getting the best of me

This situation is stressing me out. It's like .. what if something goes wrong? What if they hit a nerve and I have a stroke and die? What if the tumor is cancerous? What if what if what if is all I keep asking myself. I just hope and pray i wake up perfectly healthy ! Better than before. I think it would help me feel better if I had people visit me either in the hospital or at my home when I'm out of the hospital. They say happiness makes you heal faster so I want to be around happy people !! anyways  that's my rant for the night  i'm sure I will post tomorrow night after I hang out with Darci and Candice. Wish me luck guys !!