Friday, October 29, 2010

a week later

I am doing 100% better than I was doing last week. Last week around 5 am I was crying my eyes out and just anticipating the surgery. I could not have imagined feeling this good a week later. Again thank you to everyone who keeps checking up on me. I am so excited for my Dr apt on Monday. I can't wait for my Dr. to see how well I am doing !! I wish there was a way I could make it up to him for basically saving my life. Maybe I will get him a card just to explain to him how much of an amazing doctor he is.  So it's HALLOWEEN weekend and I wont be able to attend any of the parties, but I will be hanging out with Andrea and Eric on Halloween. This is my favorite holiday and I'm sad I can't really attend anything, but I don't want anyone bumping into me and hurting my nose. Everyone have a fun and safe weekend !

Monday, October 25, 2010

the longest weekend

I was a nervous wreck on friday morning. Thursday night Darci and Candice came over and we had pie and ice cream. It helped me a lot when they were there. Friday I was at the hospital at 5 am crying my eyes out every couple minutes. I got checked i don't even remember what they were telling me I was too nervous. I'm glad my mom and dad had Jeremy Andrea and my grandparents there. It helped them a lot. I remember going into the operating room and moving onto a different bed and then I was out. When I woke up I just had a bad neck pain and my throat hurt. My eyes were so blurry and eventually I couldnt even keep them open they were burning so bad. I had to get an MRI and CT scan . I loved seeing Andrea and my grandma and papa and my mom and dad. It's so horrible sleeping in a hospital. Worse sleep ever. poor Jeremy was a trooper and stayed with me through the nights. Saturday I had a lot of visitors ! thank you to tandy darci chris dijon grandma papa andrea and eric. I was so tired so I wasn't really too talkative. I appreciate all the support. Sunday morning they took my stuffing out of my nose .. weirdest feeling i have experienced. I got discharged from the hospital around 3 pm took a shower which was much needed and laid down on the couch and went to bed around 8. Today I feel good except a headache sore jaw and sore throat  my eyes are really blurry now but he said that will be like that for a while. A couple minutes ago I got a delivery from Jenna !! I was so happy when I saw it. I love edible arrangements. Fruit is the only thing I can really eat and feel full. Now I just need to take it easy and relax. I'll probably update in a few days but thank you to everyone for your encouragement and prayers. it helped me sooo much. I love you all :)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My nerves are getting the best of me

This situation is stressing me out. It's like .. what if something goes wrong? What if they hit a nerve and I have a stroke and die? What if the tumor is cancerous? What if what if what if is all I keep asking myself. I just hope and pray i wake up perfectly healthy ! Better than before. I think it would help me feel better if I had people visit me either in the hospital or at my home when I'm out of the hospital. They say happiness makes you heal faster so I want to be around happy people !! anyways  that's my rant for the night  i'm sure I will post tomorrow night after I hang out with Darci and Candice. Wish me luck guys !!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Here's to the nights

Today couldn't have been any better. Mom Jeremy and I spend the afternoon with two of the most amazing parents in the world. Eric and Andrea Taylor ! Yes I used to date their son Thomas and we broke up years ago, but I still feel like they are my 2nd parents. They are just the type of people who will do anything for their family and friends. Andrea called me the other day because she was concerned about me and asked about my surgery and I couldn't even say anything really but cry. I don't know if she noticed I was crying, but I was.  So it was so nice catching up with them and I'm glad they met Jeremy. It's a good feeling to know they still love and support me and want me to be happy. I love them both to death ! Later on I was blind folded and taken to my surprise Darci had planned for me. I had no clue what it was. Jeremy blind folded me and we ended up in Davis and I was sooo shocked to see the most amazing people in front of me ! Candice, Darci, Chris, Josh, Julia, my mom and sister. We had champagne and dessert at Bistro. It was such a good time. They just reassured me that my surgery would go perfect and smooth and they were all there for me. It means a lot to know people actually care about what's going on and how supportive they are. I love them all so much I can't even express. What a good  Sunday :)  I go in on Tuesday to meet the other surgeon who will be operating on me. The receptionist said he was cute so good thing I'm bringing my sister who is single.. AWWWWL THE SINGLE LADIEZ ! so maybe she can get a sexy doctor or something ! I'll let you know what happens.. until then ! goodnight

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I wasn't too sure if I should make a blog and write down my feelings and everything I am going through. I started thinking that I don't open up too often about my life. Yes I may tell bits and pieces of things but I never really tell the whole story and often never tell how I truly feel. So I'll start with my engagement. In May for mine and Jeremy's 1 year anniversary he took me to the cheesecake factory in San Francisco.  For some reason he seemed really nervous and I didn't think anything about it.  After our delicious dinner in the mist ( we were outside on the balcony there was music in the park and it was a misty evening) he proceeded to tell me he didn't bring me to there just for our 1 year. He got down on one knee in front of everybody and proceeded to propose. I can't tell you word for word what was said due to me freaking out saying "OMG jeremy are you for real?! omg !!!!" I started to tear up then he put the ring on my finger everyone clapped and I got a look at my ring and it's exactly the one I wanted. It's perfect. The next day we started planning our wedding.. So skip to a few months later I start having bad headaches(this has been a common thing in my life) and I was getting really concerned. I set up a Dr. Appointment and since I have had a surgery in my past (google arnold chiari malformation) she set me up with an MRI. So I get my MRI they find something abnormal about it and set me up with a CT scan. My results come back and my Dr. then proceeds to tell me I have what looks like a tumor. Neurology UCDavis in Sacramento called me to set up my appointment to be seen. By this point I'm freaking out but not too bad because my regular doctor made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. So I meet my Dr. who is simply amazing !! He made me feel so comfortable. But.. I couldn't find out anything because in the package I brought my Dr, the imaging center never put my images in it. So rescheduled that appointment but at least I got to meet my neurologist and he checked out how I was doing. So 2 weeks later I go back with the images on a CD and he checks them out in another room and about 35 minutes later he comes back to tell me that my chiari has gotten worse and in fact I do have a tumor. I felt so stupid I started to cry because I wasn't expecting him to talk about my past surgery which I never talk about. Then to confirm I do have a tumor I couldn't handle all that information at once. So he couldn't exactly tell if my tumor was cancerous or not so again I had to set up another appointment to get another MRI with an IV. So I went back did my MRI met with my DR again and he told me I need to have my tumor(which is almost in my brain) taken out immediately. He still doesn't know if it is cancerous or not but will know during the surgery. There are a lot of risks with this procedure but I thank god it's not as bad as it could be. The tumor is surrounded by bone but it has blood flow so it could grow. He doesn't know how long I have had it but he has made it a point that it is very important that it comes out. The procedure will take about 10-12 hours,yes I said HOURS!! and it's scheduled on Oct 22nd.  Then I also have to think about 6 months from now. After the wedding in February and Disneyland is March I have to undergo ANOTHER surgery. This one will be on the back of my head again. I had the same operation when I was 13. I'll get into that a lot later but basically I'm scared as hell and I can't believe I am juggling all of this. I figured now would be a good time to let people know what exactly is going on with me and how I am feeling instead of people going "oh, I didn't know that" Thank you to the people who actually took the time to read this. Now that I have a blog I will be writing in it often !